Your vagina. Isn’t that just peachy?

Fun fact for the day: Just because you’re a couple of smart guys with what you think is a good business plan doesn’t mean you are going to ever get laid again.

Take Austen Heinz and Gilad Gome, the creators of “Sweet Peach,” a probiotic beverage they claim will make your vagina smell like ripe fruit. These two tech geniuses couldn’t understand why they were criticized for suggesting that a woman’s healthy natural smell was some kind of problem. In fact, they claimed that the supplement would help women “better connect with their bodies.”

Well, okay. But if a couple of guys are going to make the observation that women are better off smelling like fruit, may I make the observation that there’s something wrong with a guy who prefers the smell of a wine cooler to the smell of pussy?

But what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, and we’re fine drinking your little supplement and even topping our peach with some whipped cream if that’s what it’s going to take to make you happy. However, we will only consent to that after you develop another supplement that makes your cock taste like chocolate and your semen taste like Nutella. Fair is fair.

It seems that after the news broke on Sweet Peach, Heinz and Gome said it was all just a big misunderstanding, and that they and its actual founder – a woman named Audrey Hutchinson whose vag probably already smells like strawberries – never really meant what they said about your pussy not being fruity enough.

Whatever, guys. But if you actually spent more time between a woman’s legs you’d realize there’s far more to appreciate than you ever imagined. And even without enhancement, it’s just peachy.

Elsa Black is the author of the erotic “Eden” age play novels, “Becoming Lil’ Mandy” and “Training Lil’ Elise.” The third book in these series, “Doctoring Lil’ Daisy,” is set for release in May. She also writes historical erotica for Stormy Night Publications under the name Ava Sinclair. Her first book under that name, “The Marshal’s Little Girl”, was published in March and achieved bestseller status in both Amazon’s Western and Historical Erotica categories. Her second book with Stormy Night is set to be released in May.

A vibrator that syncs with erotica? Yes. Yes! YES!!!

Erotic fans, drop everything – and by everything, I mean your panties – because I have stumbled upon something that is just going to make your day.

Have you ever been reading your latest erotic novel and found it difficult to swipe the page of your e-reader and work your vibrator at the same time? Because let’s face it, by the time we get to the point where  Lord Studley Wellhung is about to thrust into the maid he’s been fore playing for the last five pages, we’re almost ready for a little two-hand action on our favorite toy, am I right? But what’s a reader to do? Putting down the book is going to stall the plot. Putting down the vibrator stalls the pleasure. Since there’s as much sex between our ears as between our legs, not having both at once can be frustrating.

Problem solved, ladies. A new vibrator may be coming to our rescue. The B. Sensory, a.k.a. “Little Bird” would use Bluetooth technology and a reading app to sync pulses to the words you’re reading. And since the egg-shaped silicone vibrator is small enough to fit snugly in your lady parts, you can now continue reading as you get the “full enjoyment” of every scene.

Thank you, O Sweet Gods of Technology! And thank you, France. (Did I mention it’s being developed in France. Of course it is)

But back to this product we’re going to have to have: Imagine lying there in your bed, having sent the family off to – well, honestly, do we really care where they are right now? Your Little Bird vibrator is tucked right up inside you, right against that sweet spot. Your app is going and you’re at the favorite passage of your favorite erotic novel and just when whatever turns your crank starts to happen – whether it’s a spanking or teasing or anal sex or just a good, old-fashioned pounding – the pulses start and you orgasm right along with your characters.

We all love relating to our characters, but this my take things to a whole new level.

And it’s not just exciting for readers. It’s even more exciting for those of us who write erotica. I just can’t wait for the reviews from readers not only saying what they liked about the plot and characterization, but praising the quality of the pounding orgasm they received during their favorite passage.

I’m getting a little excited just thinking about it.

The only downside is that “Little Bird” apparently won’t be available at least until November 2015, which means we’re stuck having to be ambidextrous until then. But at least we have something to look forward to.

Elsa Black is the author of the contemporary erotic age play Eden Series that includes “Becoming Lil’ Mandy” and “Training Lil’ Elise”. Book Three, “Doctoring Lil’ Daisy” will be released in either late April or May of 2015. She also pens historical erotic under the pen name Ava Sinclair. Her first book under that name, “The Marshal’s Little Girl,” achieved Amazon best seller status in both the Historical and Western erotica categories. Her second Ava Sinclair book will be released in May.

The Emotional Appeal of Age Play

When I was a kid, I often found myself bristling at rules. I’ve never been a huge fan of them, and my parents were sticklers for the things. Homework had to be done, chores completed and lights out by eleven – nine on school nights. Saying “please” and “thank you” were requirements, no exceptions. Authority was to be respected, even if that authority didn’t always deserve it. Growing up in the South, I lived with the understanding that if I got in trouble in school, I also got in trouble when I came home.

I longed to grow up, to be free of all that. And then I did. But as a grownup, I discovered that I didn’t escape rules or consequences now, I just had different ones. If I didn’t show up at work, I could lose my job. If I smarted off at a cop, I could end up with a ticket. If I were rude, I found myself socially ostracized. And then there were the other things I sacrificed by entering adulthood. Gone was the benevolent guardianship, the protection of a loving authority, someone to pay all the bills, someone to lovingly correct me when I deserved it, and then hold me and make it all better.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m an independent woman and proud of it. I pay my own way. But there are days when I wish someone would just send me to bed early, or warn me not to say exactly what is on my mind. Because I often do, and sometimes to my detriment. How nice it would be to have a benevolent guardian step in and set me straight. How nice it would be to wake up in the morning knowing I was protected and fed and clothed and had not have a singe care beyond which amusement to choose. How nice it would be to have a nap at midday. How nice it would be to go back in time – back to that perfect state of trust in a carefree existence. How nice it would be to have someone care enough to correct me for your own good and – dare I say – even spank me when I need it. And yes, I know in my heart there are times I do.

Age play allows us to return – at least in fantasy – to a world where that is exactly what happens to the characters. Responsibilities are stripped away, accountability is enforced and because these are adults we’re talking about, the submissive, age-regressed partner even finds himself or herself at the sexual command of the dominant partner. And because the dominant is in control of everything – right down to the submissive’s responses, it’s a relationship that includes taboo sex without the guilt. The dominant owns all, even the little one’s pleasure. That’s the emotional appeal for so many readers and – I imagine – people attracted to this lifestyle. I am not an age player, but researching and writing about it has certainly made me see the deep appeal of the lifestyle, and appreciate those brave enough to enjoy it. We are celebrating Daddy Doms, Littles and everything we love about age play this week, with featured posts running Monday through through Friday.  Enjoy the chance to win FREE books and a gift certificate to Amazon for $15 by reading and commenting on the following posts:

Monday: “Does Ageplay Squick You Out?” by Renee Rose

Tuesday: “Clean vs. Dirty Ageplay” by Emily Hilton

Wednesday: “The Emotional Appeal of Ageplay” by Elsa Black

Thursday: “The Joy of Escapism” by Ava Sinclair

Winners Announced Friday! Check out these Age play books by our contributors. Just click the images to buy.

Her Hollywood Daddy

 

Hollywood starlet Marissa Sparks’ career teeters on the brink of implosion when movie producer and actor Joel Sutherland takes her in hand. He requires her to move in with him and live as his Little so he can provide strict discipline and guidance but he isn’t sure if it’s all a ploy to stay in the movie. She is, after all, a talented actress and could be faking everything.

Caroline’s Little World

 

Three great books by a best-selling author of age-play erotica! Caroline Dawkins is a professor of English who has never confessed her age-play and spanking fantasies to her husband, George Lane, a corporate attorney. After George comes home one night and finds Caroline pleasuring herself, over the course of an extraordinary year Caroline and George, with the help of new friends and former students, utterly transform their erotic life together in the pattern of those taboo fantasies.

Training Lil’ Elise

The story of the Eden Institute continues, this time with the fractious maid Elise, whose disdain for the Littles has her crossing the line once to often. She’s about to be banned, until Nanny Prim suggests a different idea: Why not train Elise as a Little? Nanny Prim maintains that it’s what the fiery maid really wants. Will handsome Englishman Max Brookshire be able to make Elise the Little she secretly wants to be?

The Marshal’s Little Girl

 

When US Marshal Gage Chandler catches up with the beautiful thief who pulled off a robbery right under his nose, the long arm of justice is ready to restrain her for a long, hard spanking. But in Wilhelmina James, the lawman discovers a woman with a desire to submit that meshes with his desire to completely dominate. When they travel in disguise as guardian and ward to clear her name, the roles become real when “Billy” agrees to be his little one. IMPORTANT: Leave your email with your comment so we can contact you if you win.

So my 76-year-old mom read my erotica…

I don’t just write erotica. I write across other genres as well.

I wrote a romance once – a sweet one set on a farm. My mother read it. She liked it.

One day she called to ask me what I was doing.

“I’m writing,” I said.

That seemed to make her happy. “What are you writing? A sequel to that romance I liked so much?”

I told her that I was working on my latest erotic novel. My mother had never read my erotica. She knows I write it, but the romance was the first thing she’d read.

“Can I read it?” she asked.

i stopped typing. “What? The erotica book?” I laughed. “I don’t think you want to read this,” I said. “It’s pretty graphic.”

I could hear her snort through the phone. “Oh please,” she said. “Your father and I’ve been married for over fifty years. There’s nothing you can write that I’ve not done.”

I grew quiet. Should I? Surely not. But you only live once. “Fine,” I said. “Challenge accepted.” I sent her the link to “Becoming Lil’ Mandy,” which was hands down the most explicit erotica I’ve ever written.  There’s spankings and anal sex and butt plugs and enemas and finger fucking and blow jobs and pussy eating. But hey, at 76 my mom’s a big girl. And she asked for it.

An hour later my phone rang. It was mom again. “You were right,” she said, laughing. “I’ve never done most of this stuff.”

I didn’t ask her what she had done. Some things a daughter doesn’t want to know. I was just glad she wasn’t scandalized. But then again, I didn’t expect her to be. I come by my tawdry mind genetically. My mom is not the type to read something like this and clutch her pearls in outrage. In fact, she decided that she loved my book and wanted to talk about it. A lot.

“I’m worried about Mandy,’ she said. It was lunchtime the next day when she called to talk about the book.

“Oh, really? Why?” I asked.

“Do you think it’s good for her, having so many thing stuck up her butt?”

“Mom, she’s a fictional character,” I said.

“Well, even so I’d think after a while it would hurt to sit or go to the bathroom.”

I didn’t bother explaining the risks of overthinking escapist fantasy.

“Where in the book are you now?” I asked, changing the subject.

“I’m at the part where they just had intercourse,” she said.

“They have intercourse a lot, Mom. You need to be more specific.”

“It’s right after she got that enema,” my mom said. “I didn’t like that part.”

“Okay.”

My mom finished the book. She even insisted on leaving a review which was nice. And hilarious. It gives me a giggle to go through my reviews and see my mom’s there. Five stars.  This week, when the sequel, “Training Lil Elise” came out, she wanted to read it.

Sure, I thought, why not?

This evening the phone rang while I was cooking dinner.

“Did you hear we had a fire here tonight?” my mom asked when I answered the phone.

I almost dropped my mixing spoon. “A fire? Oh my god. At the house. What happened?”

“Your book caused it. Because it’s so hot.”

LOL. My mom made a joke.

“Very funny, mom,” I said, not knowing whether to laugh or be mad. I’d already pictured my father stumbling around in a smoke filled room trying to collect mom’s cats because she refused to leave a burning house without them. “You scared me, you know.”

“Sorry,” she laughed. “I like the book, though. My favorite part is the remote-control ass plug.”

“Um, OK,” I said. “I’m glad. I think.” I looked up then to see the shocked faces of my husband and 17-year-old daughter. I’d forgotten that I’d left my mobile on the speaker phone setting. My husband started to laugh. My daughter rolled her eyes and walked away, muttering something about grandma being weird.

I couldn’t stop smiling. I’ve decided that I want to be my mother when I grow up.

*******

To order the kind of books Elsa’s mother obviously enjoys reading, please click the links below:

Becoming Lil Mandy

Training Lil’ Elise

“Training Lil’ Elise” is now available!

(CLICK IMAGE TO ORDER)

“Do you think it will be bad?” Elise turned to Mandy, who was sitting beside her in the sandbox. After lunch they had moved to the playground, where the Bigs sat chatting while the girls played in the warm sun.
“We’re not supposed to talk about it,” Mandy said. “We’re supposed to be having fun.” “How can we have fun when it’s getting….closer.” She sniffed. “I’m scared.”
“Okay, I am, too,” replied Elise, dropping her pretense at bravery. “Papa said he didn’t
punish me yesterday because he was too angry. If he was angry, then I think we’re really going to get it.”
Going to get it. Just the words caused a tremor to flow through her. We’re going to get it…”

“Training Lil’ Elise is now available on Amazon and  Barnes and Noble. I’m so excited to continue the story that started with Mandy, her Papa Ethan and Nanny Prim, with development of another Eden character – sexy maid Elise.

Elise has a rocky relationship with the Eden Littles, but when her disdain for them goes too far, she risks losing her job. But her former lover, the strict Nanny Prim, has a better idea. Why not pair the fractious maid with a new client, handsome Englishman Max Brookshire, who is looking for a more challenging Little.

Elise’s transformation comes with some surprises – and not without a little jealousy from Mandy, who isn’t pleased to have to share her Nanny Prim with a rival.

This book offers more spanking,  more anal play, more medical play and more sex than ever, all against the backdrop of a genuine age play love story.

Up For A Little Fun?

For a growing number of readers, the fantasy of submission is one of their guiltiest pleasures.

After all, we’re supposed to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. And we all know that those are important things. But there’s nothing wrong with dreaming, and if your dreams include being put under the ultimate control through age-regression and punishment, then my books are for you.

So take my hand and enter a world of the Eden Institute, a secret society where dominant men keep and train women to be their Little companions. Be warned, while these fantasies may involve returning to a state of childlike dependency,  these books  are for adults only, and contain very kinky themes.

These books are very explicit, and only the naughtiest of girls should read them.